GUEST BLOG: Finding a job and finding love

By Joanne Foley, Matrix Recruitment Group

There are remarkable similarities between the processes of finding a job and finding love.

Everything we do in life has a process – think of the simple task of making a phone call, first you dial the number, then wait for an answer and then you greet the person at the other end of the phone.

The stages we go through emotionally and physically can be quite overwhelming and exhausting, and in both situations we find ourselves asking – What do I really want? What do I really need? Is this right for me?

Stage 1: I need love/I need a job

Whether it’s romance-related or career-related, we’ve all been at a point in our lives where we find ourselves stuck in a rut. You take a look at your life and can’t help but notice that something is missing.

These concerns may arise as you see your friends all loved up and their time becomes more precious until they can’t spare a moment away from that special someone, leaving you with way too much time to think and next thing you are by yourself at home every weekend having completed Netflix and Googling, ‘which makes a better companion, cats or dogs?’

Or perhaps you have already found the one but feel like your career path has lost focus. Your friends are climbing the career ladder boasting about a recent promotion or a pay rise, talking about how exciting and fulfilling their jobs are while planning their next steps to a new career goal.

Meanwhile you’re hunched over on a desk being completely unproductive, watching cat videos on YouTube just to get you through your working day.

Either way it’s clear that something has gone awry – a change needs to happen and quick!

Stage 2: Selling yourself

Your first port of call is updating your profile – what are your best qualities, characteristics, key skills and achievements? Of course these will vary depending on whether it’s for love or for job. Remember your future employer is not going to be too impressed that you like long walks on the beach!

Nowadays, applying for jobs and looking for love online is the norm and there are not too many differences when it comes to LinkedIn and dating apps such as Tinder.

However, it is important to look as good on paper as you do in your profile picture. This is where a well put together CV or profile will be key, regardless of whether a new career or love interest is on your agenda.

Your profile needs to emanate to a potential employer that you are a good communicator, show initiative and have the necessary experience they require. Whilst a potential partner will want to you know if you are chatty, out-going, have a good sense of humour and are willing to try a new romantic experience!

Next you select your most flattering pictures but it is probably best if your LinkedIn profile picture looks a bit more corporate, rather than the bathroom selfie from Saturday night that screams look what a fun companion I could be!

Stage 3: The search

Once that is sorted it’s time to start looking for a potential partner or that dream job. Google hasn’t failed you yet so you ask what is the top recruitment agency that deals with the type of job or company you are interested in, or on the other hand you search for the most used dating agency that has the top marriage success rate!

With this information to hand you sign yourself up and enter all the new fabulous information you just learnt about yourself in the about me section. Right now you are feeling pretty chuffed with yourself; you are already a step closer to finding the one! In today’s modern world you can access everything on the go, so make sure you have your emails set up so as you don’t miss any opportunities from the agency.

So now that you’ve got in contact with an agency, what happens next? The agency, whether it is dating or recruitment, will go through their database and look for the perfect match to suit your skills or in the case of dating, to suit your pastimes.

Nowadays, applying for jobs and looking for love online is the norm and there are not too many differences when it comes to LinkedIn and dating apps such as Tinder

But let’s be honest, you’re probably not going to stop there. You realise you need to get yourself out there and get noticed. What better way to check out a suitable dating partner than a night on the town or some speed dating?

But if it’s a new job you seek then throw on your most professional attire and hit the careers fairs in search of the perfect company for you.

Stage 4: This could be the one

By this stage, you’ve already made a mental list of what you’re interested in. Maybe it’s the perfect smile, a good fashion sense, a nice car or a sense of humour. Or if you’re chasing that dream job you’ll probably be more interested in the perfect benefits package, opportunities for promotion or the chance to travel with work.

After days of searching you finally come across a potential partner or suitable job. They tick all the boxes that count or at least enough boxes that you’re willing to give them a shot and want to learn more. You agonise over every word in order to come up with the most eye catching introductory message that you can think of to get their attention. Then you finally bite the bullet and hit the send button.

There’s nothing more you can do. Now the waiting game begins.

Stage 5: It’s a match

You’ve searched high and low, applied to multiple jobs and swiped right more than you’d care to admit but your patience and determination has paid off. After spending every blinking second of the day checking your phone and refreshing your email inbox you get a reply. The agency gets in touch and a potential dream partner or employer is interested and suggests meeting up – your heart skips a beat!

But naturally the brief moment of relief and euphoria ends and the thought of the first date/first round interview causes your nerves to start kicking in. Your mind begins to race and doubt sets in – ‘What do I say?’ ‘Will they think I’m funny or interesting?’ ‘What will I wear?’ But despite the butterflies you go ahead and arrange a date to meet. You then spend the next few days going over your jokes, funny stories or brushing up on your skills and work experience until you’re reciting them in your sleep.

Stage 6: The first meeting

After about five wardrobe changes you’re finally happy with how you look. You arrive at the venue a little earlier so as you can calm down and run through your interview notes or maybe to you arrive earlier for some Dutch courage!

It’s first introduction time. With a potential employer it’s always good to have a firm handshake and good eye contact but on the dating side of things sometimes it easiest to take their lead, a polite kiss on the cheek or just a friendly handshake and that winning smile should do!

Now that’s out of the way you sit comfortably and the conversation begins to flow while thinking, ‘I’m so glad that glass of water is there’ as your dry mouth sets in. You begin to feel more relaxed and some chemistry starts to develop between you both – eye contact is good, you’ve both managed to avoid any awkward silences and you’ve already made them smile – that would be your witty personality!

The date/interview ends really well and you make your way home feeling ten feet tall. In fact maybe you’re single and just walked out of a job interview with one of the best looking human beings you have ever seen! You begin to think potential employer or potential lover?

Stage 7: The next day

After a good night’s sleep you’re still feeling great and happy that the meeting went very well. All that worry was for nothing. You were charming, bubbly, interesting and got a great vibe from the other person.

But then a new sense of panic kicks in ‘What if they didn’t feel the same way?’, ‘They’re probably seeing plenty of people, what if they’re better than me?’, ‘Should I call them now or play it cool and wait?’

You find yourself constantly checking your phone and email for any updates. You begin to worry that your phone is broken or the internet is down! You ask your friends or your recruitment consultant for advice and they tell you to keep calm and be patient that these things take time.

Finally the phone starts to buzz and your heart skips a beat. Phew! Its good news and they want to meet again.

Stage 8: Decision time

You attend a couple of more meetings and you begin to reassess your feelings, ‘Is this job or person the one for me?’ They are keen for you to make a commitment or there is a firm contract offer on the table.

It’s make or break time and after some deliberation, you should now have a good idea of what the company or person is like. Your gut never lies and will help you decide which way you should go.

Don’t shy away from the risks; they will always be there when considering starting a new job or new relationship. You’re feeling positive about your decision and take a leap of faith; it’s time for a new chapter in your life, a chapter that may be quite scary but also excites you.

Or maybe it doesn’t feel quite right and you decide to keep looking. But that’s okay too. You’ve played the game and you know ‘the one’ is right around the corner. Hallelujah!

Photo (above): Yann Gar